I have been told that I have anger issues. I won't deny it. When it comes to burning bridges, let's just say I'm a demolitions expert. One of the greatest challenges I have had since being out of the service, is adapting to civilian life. Going from a life that was structured and oriented, to a life where not many people have a clue how to tie their own shoes let alone function as a society has been truly challenging. I have been out of the service for almost 12 years now, and it is still a challenge. I have had so many different vocations since, that I have pretty much lost count. Minimum wage mediocrity, high paying trade professions, unemployed; I have done it all. Many jobs I have quit simply because my anger was going to lead to a manager or customer going to the hospital after a severe beating. I think one of the things I have a difficult time dealing with is the lack of honor and selfish mentality that festers in civilian life. The hate is a big factor too. There is so much hate everywhere I turn. Political views, Race, etc... it seems like everyone is at each others throats. In the service, it didn't matter who you were, where you came from, your sexual orientation, your race or religion. We all had a job to do. We got it done, and then partied our butts off. I don't understand how the rest of the world can't function like this. As such, I have burned so many bridges just trying to fit into society that I can't even remember who all I kicked to the way side. I have made friends and lost friends along the way, as well as made many enemies. My anger is one of the greatest adversaries I have in my faith and walk with Christ. To be honest, there is a part of me that wants to burn that bridge too. I am tired of setting fires. I have to struggle and fight. Remind myself of why and how I followed God's calling back to the Church. I ran from him for so long, and tried just about everything else to survive with little success. Much like the "prodigal son" parable that Jesus talks about in the book of Luke, I came back. And He came running with arms open. Luke 15: 20-22 “...But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. These are just some of my demons that I have to face on a daily basis as a Christian and Veteran. I can't attest to my fellow Veterans, but I am sure many of my Brothers and Sisters can relate. Remember the Bible says that "...a fool is quick to anger..." -Proverbs 29:11 I refuse to be a fool. God Bless and CYH
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AuthorSpike Bowan is the Pittsburgh, PA born Writer and Fiction Author. He is a Veteran of the US Navy, retired Paramedic, Husband, Father and Christian. BECOME A PATRON. CLICK BELOW!
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