Did you wake up this morning? Was there breath in your lungs? Good. That's a start. God has seen fit to give you another day. Another chance to face the world. As a Veteran, I can personally attest to how rough some days can be. Some mornings it feels like the whole world is against you and that even just the simple task of getting out of bed isn't even worth it. PSALM 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it." Have you been through hell and back? More than likely. So now you're a civilian. Be thankful and rejoice! Go out there and kick some butt! God has granted you a second chance in life, a chance to live your life in peace. Don't squander it. LIVE! LOVE! LAUGH! You can be miserable, if you choose. However that's not fun. It's not helpful to anyone either. Not your family, friends, co-workers and especially yourself. Now, I am not saying go out there and be an annoying ray of sunshine that drives everyone bonkers. I'm saying, try and face the world with a motivated and positive attitude. That you're going to accomplish as much as possible each and everyday. As Veterans, we know how precious life is, and that every second counts. Don't waste them. Are there going to be days that are just horrific and volatile? Of course. But those days will pass. The Bible tells us how to handle these things; John 16:33 I have said these things to you, thatin me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” AND Psalm 50:15 " and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” So strap on your boots, grab your pack and move out! Oscar Mike! (thats military lingo for ' On the Move' for you Civi's out there) God Bless and CYH
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It's not a story that many people know. As matter of fact, I think only my immediate family and a handful of others know the story of "Joe the Cloud Maker". I will do my best to tell it to you from memory, however I am sure that I will be corrected by my Father when he reads this. You see, "Joe the Cloud Maker" was a real person. And a dear friend of my parents. The story, as I remember it, goes something like this. Many years ago, my parents were part of a Christian organization called "Marriage Encounter". It was a Christian group focusing on developing stronger relationships in Marriage through God. How to grow as a couple and as Christians together. Through this group my parents became dear friends with Joe and his wife and family. The years went on and friendships grew. Joe, as I remember, was a fun guy. Charismatic and joyful. Just a genuine guy, that everybody loved. Joe always loved clouds and made a point to point out interesting clouds to whomever he was with. Feet firmly on the ground, but his head was always in the clouds. Somehow a conversation between Joe and my folks came up and Joe had said that when he died he, "...would like to be put in charge of making the clouds when he gets to Heaven." A noble task to be sure. Sometime later Joe died. The pain was felt by family and friends alike. The day after Joe was called home though, the clouds grew more and more unique and beautiful with each passing day. So from that day on in my family, every time we saw clouds that were amazing and breath taking we would always say, "Good Job Joe!" And that my friends, is the tale of "Joe the Cloud Maker" I have been told that I have anger issues. I won't deny it. When it comes to burning bridges, let's just say I'm a demolitions expert. One of the greatest challenges I have had since being out of the service, is adapting to civilian life. Going from a life that was structured and oriented, to a life where not many people have a clue how to tie their own shoes let alone function as a society has been truly challenging. I have been out of the service for almost 12 years now, and it is still a challenge. I have had so many different vocations since, that I have pretty much lost count. Minimum wage mediocrity, high paying trade professions, unemployed; I have done it all. Many jobs I have quit simply because my anger was going to lead to a manager or customer going to the hospital after a severe beating. I think one of the things I have a difficult time dealing with is the lack of honor and selfish mentality that festers in civilian life. The hate is a big factor too. There is so much hate everywhere I turn. Political views, Race, etc... it seems like everyone is at each others throats. In the service, it didn't matter who you were, where you came from, your sexual orientation, your race or religion. We all had a job to do. We got it done, and then partied our butts off. I don't understand how the rest of the world can't function like this. As such, I have burned so many bridges just trying to fit into society that I can't even remember who all I kicked to the way side. I have made friends and lost friends along the way, as well as made many enemies. My anger is one of the greatest adversaries I have in my faith and walk with Christ. To be honest, there is a part of me that wants to burn that bridge too. I am tired of setting fires. I have to struggle and fight. Remind myself of why and how I followed God's calling back to the Church. I ran from him for so long, and tried just about everything else to survive with little success. Much like the "prodigal son" parable that Jesus talks about in the book of Luke, I came back. And He came running with arms open. Luke 15: 20-22 “...But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. These are just some of my demons that I have to face on a daily basis as a Christian and Veteran. I can't attest to my fellow Veterans, but I am sure many of my Brothers and Sisters can relate. Remember the Bible says that "...a fool is quick to anger..." -Proverbs 29:11 I refuse to be a fool. God Bless and CYH Headaches, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, and worse...I have asked myself many times if it will ever stop? If it will ever go away? I met another Veteran once who had the answer. The story goes like this; I was working as a Paramedic in one of the many ghettos in the Allegheny County area. We responded to a house for an elderly gentleman with chest pain. I assess him and determine he needs transport to the hospital right down the road. I was having one of those days, I was going through the motions and trying just to complete a 24 hour shift so I could go home. I must have had that thousand yard stare on my face, because the patient asked me this. "How long where you in the service?" I look up and notice that he has a WWII Veterans ball cap on. 82nd Airborne to be precise. A "D-Day" Vet, I guess if anyone could spot a fellow Veteran it would be this man. We get to talking, and we have many similar experiences. I ask him, "Do the headaches and bad dreams ever go away?" His response was gut wrenching. "No." he says DEVASTATION But what he said next changed my entire perspective on how things were progressing in my life, he said "...you just learn to live with it. You wake up, you put on your shoes and go into the world and get the job done. And it helps to have the love of a good woman. A support structure that is always there for you like family and friends is the key. And don't forget God. Theres no better support than Jesus son..." Most will never know what it is like. The headaches. The cold sweats after waking up from a horrific nightmare. The panic attacks that swarm ones thoughts and heart at the drop of a hat. Like so many of my Brother and Sister Veterans, the afflictions of PTSD can be overwhelming and at times lead you to find a "cure" on your own. With little to know help from the Veterans Affairs hospitals, many of us are left to try and fix this on our own. The VA throws pills at the Veterans like tic-tacs. Too many pills. Some of us turn to alcohol. Drinking ourselves into an early grave. Others turn to drugs and prescription meds. Why not? The VA has half of us hooked on pain killers anyway. And sadly, some of my Brothers and Sisters turn to a, more permanent solution. The fear of everything just becomes overwhelming and it is just "...simpler if the world didn't have me in it...". How do I know this? Because I have had these thoughts. I have had these fears. I have sat there with a gun in my hand and thought long and hard about the consequences of just ending it all. I never did realize until I was so close to pulling the trigger, that I have a phenomenal support structure. A wife that is truly God Sent. Friends that I can turn to at a moments notice, and Brother and Sister Veterans that are always there to help me through the worst of it. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 This verse has saved me more times than I can count. JEREMIAH 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. According to studies done a few years back, 22 Veterans commit suicide everyday. What's even worse is that that number is probably even WAY higher now. We can't be certain, because the studies just stopped. This insanity has to stop. We need to look out for each other. There are a few groups out there like GallantFew.org , Battle Buddy, Guitars for Vets and even us here at The Fisherman Soldier; that are doing what we can to help. But it is up to individuals to get involved, to stand up and say they will be their Brothers Keeper. To fight the fear together. ISAIAH 41:10 says: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." You don't have to be afraid. Alone. Lost. You can rely on Brother and Sister Veterans to help you "Soldier On". Don't forget, God can be an amazing Battle Buddy too, if you let him. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 Hands down, one of the hardest times to be a Christian for me is when I'm driving. It doesn't even have to be Rush Hour. Other drivers can infuriate me so immensely that it's like I'm back in the military again and I'm the poster child for the old adage "Swears like a Sailor". People running stop signs, not stopping for a school bus when it's warning placards are out, not using a turn signal, ignoring the rules of "Right of way", not pulling over for Emergency Vehicles (that's a huge one for me); so many people just being reckless!! AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! We've all been there. Right? Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin..." Which is a REALLY difficult thing for me to do. Just about every curse word comes into my head when I experience the folly of other drivers. But it is this trial I am beginning to realize, that gives me the opportunity to become a stronger Christian. I have to remind myself that the rage and hate and anger I feel is not what God wants from me. James 1:20 says "because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." I have to remind myself of this, because more than anything I long to be righteous and good in my life and walk with Christ. There is always going to be stupid drivers on the road. I am sure that something that I have done while driving has caused another to swear and curse at me. I'm not perfect. None of us are. It is crucial to remind ourselves that a fool angers quickly. The Bible says so, Proverbs 29:11 "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." To anger and sin is to give the devil a foothold on your life. Ephesians 4:27. So stay safe out there everyone, and remember to remain calm, we are not perfect and we all fail. The important part is to get back up and stay on the path that God has set before you. God Bless and CYH. It hit me on Sunday service. I showed up for service in a nice short sleeve button down, jeans and my converse tennis shoes.
I was comfy and ready to praise the Lord as I strapped on my guitar. That's when I noticed "the looks" I was getting from several of the older attendees. A look that I thought I would never see in my church. Disgust. Judgement. Now, I am used to these looks as I am heavily tattooed. But I never thought I would get them in my own church. The service progresses and I am exposed to several comments like, "...must be casual Sunday...". I blew them off and gave it to God. Now I could go on about how the Bible says "...Judge not lest ye be judged..." but I think that example gets widely over used and most Christians have become apathetic to it. I will however remind people though that the Bible talks about "Coming as you are..." Now, the Bible doesn't use those exact words at all. But what it does say is this: “Come! Whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” - Revelation 22:17 So if I come willingly, seeking redemption and following in the footsteps of Christ; why am I to be criticized for it? Regardless of attire and appearance. Shouldn't the fact that I am there to fellowship and worship be the important thing? Now, some will say, "Spike, you're judging them aren't you?...". Well, ...uh...yea. I am. I have this nasty habit of calling people out on stuff like this. Especially when it's judgmental attitudes like this that are killing off church congregations across the globe. Younger generations WANT to believe! They are actively searching for it, however I feel that "Old School" attitudes like these are barring potential church goers from the church door. It's still around. It's just not widely promoted. I love all kinds of music, folk, acoustic rock, oldies, R&B, classic rock, heck; even show tunes. But every now and then I just want to Rock Out and headbang!!! It's not for everyone. But deep down inside I'm a Metal Head! I grew up listening to bands like Stryper, Petra, One Bad Pig, Tourniquet and so many more! But "that" style of music is hard to come by. At least in the area of Pittsburgh that I'm in. Christian radio is very limited. We have WORD.FM 101.5, which is 98% chatter, preachers and talk shows; and we have 98.3 FM KLOVE. Which plays the same 45 contemporary Christian songs. Over and Over and Over. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE fan of "Sidewalk Prophets", "Mercy Me" and "Casting Crowns", but I want more. Having just recently come back to the flock, I was wondering what was out there as far as Christian Rock and Metal. So I started digging. There ARE Christian Metal bands still around, but I never hear a peep about them. To be honest, the more I dug I wasn't overly impressed. Talented musicians? Yes. Are the lacking something? Most definitely. Where is the fire? Where is that feeling I would get listening to Michael Sweet belt out "To Hell With the Devil"? Stryper is still around and making music, and although I am a Die Hard fan from way back, it still feels like they're still trying to play '80's style music. Sorry boys. Where is the Christian version of Five Finger Death Punch? Or Amoranthe? Where is the fire of the Holy Spirit in Modern Music? There are some decent bands, but I honestly can't see myself buying their albums or MP3's. But I am still trying to find something that I feel is lacking in the Christian Metal scene. There is some hope in the bleak though, this one band I found called "Demon Hunter". So much potential!!! There are Power Metal bands and "Un-Doom" Metal bands that are Christian, and they're not bad. But I wanted some Whiskey Rock. Some Hard Core, and I think I found it in "Demon Hunter". |
AuthorSpike Bowan is the Pittsburgh, PA born Writer and Fiction Author. He is a Veteran of the US Navy, retired Paramedic, Husband, Father and Christian. BECOME A PATRON. CLICK BELOW!
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